So, I've been through some scrapes and embarrassing moments in my time, none the less, whenever that question pops up "tell us about your most embarrassing moment" I always struggle for a moment. Not any more.
Please be warned, this post contains Lycra, toilets and some rather vivid imagery, so if you are planning to eat something in the next 30 mins, please come back later.
So, sitting comfortably? then I'll begin...
One of the things I have had to plan most on this trip, are toilet breaks. Thus far, I've managed to avoid squatting behind bushes to do the grizzly bits. Mostly I've been able to hold off altogether. Anyway, today, that urge came on, and I had another 4 or so hours before I get to Manchester, so I stop off at Starbucks in some strange town. I have myself a coffee and some lunch, then visit the loos. I sit for a little while and (forgive the imagery) update facebook, message people, tweet etc as I go about my business. Just as I was starting to think, right, lets wrap this up and get back out side, click, and darkness. The lights are on a sensor and my use of the loo as an office space obviously meant I had out stayed my welcome. So here I sit in complete darkness, waving my hands in the air, trying to catch the sensors attention. No good. (I now think, 'every crapper needs a clapper'.) delicately, I stand and unlock the door, shuffling forward, cycling shorts sitting around my ankles, waving furiously. Click, on comes the light, clunck, opens the door. Now I've never run over a deer, but I'd imagine, that was the look in both of our eyes, him shocked in a now open doorway, me, hands in the air, pants around ankles, everything I have on display, a good foot or so outside the cubicle. Luckily, he had the good sense to turn and leave, I had to go back, finish up and make the walk of shame through a fairly busy Starbucks.
I believe the term Fuck My Life, would be most appropriate.
In more uplifting news, I am in MANCHESTER!! And will be staying with Jude Ball, luckily for her, I won't need the toilet! Mexican for dinner, then an early start to get me home, 120 miles, pushing to have it knocked off in 10 hours or under!
Can't wait!
X
Please be warned, this post contains Lycra, toilets and some rather vivid imagery, so if you are planning to eat something in the next 30 mins, please come back later.
So, sitting comfortably? then I'll begin...
One of the things I have had to plan most on this trip, are toilet breaks. Thus far, I've managed to avoid squatting behind bushes to do the grizzly bits. Mostly I've been able to hold off altogether. Anyway, today, that urge came on, and I had another 4 or so hours before I get to Manchester, so I stop off at Starbucks in some strange town. I have myself a coffee and some lunch, then visit the loos. I sit for a little while and (forgive the imagery) update facebook, message people, tweet etc as I go about my business. Just as I was starting to think, right, lets wrap this up and get back out side, click, and darkness. The lights are on a sensor and my use of the loo as an office space obviously meant I had out stayed my welcome. So here I sit in complete darkness, waving my hands in the air, trying to catch the sensors attention. No good. (I now think, 'every crapper needs a clapper'.) delicately, I stand and unlock the door, shuffling forward, cycling shorts sitting around my ankles, waving furiously. Click, on comes the light, clunck, opens the door. Now I've never run over a deer, but I'd imagine, that was the look in both of our eyes, him shocked in a now open doorway, me, hands in the air, pants around ankles, everything I have on display, a good foot or so outside the cubicle. Luckily, he had the good sense to turn and leave, I had to go back, finish up and make the walk of shame through a fairly busy Starbucks.
I believe the term Fuck My Life, would be most appropriate.
In more uplifting news, I am in MANCHESTER!! And will be staying with Jude Ball, luckily for her, I won't need the toilet! Mexican for dinner, then an early start to get me home, 120 miles, pushing to have it knocked off in 10 hours or under!
Can't wait!
X
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